6.28.2011

stop and smell the roses

Today is an exciting day for me... my blog is the "featured blog" today on For The Love of Blogs!  These ladies have created a fabulous community of bloggers from all corners of the world that blog about all different kinds of things.  Head over and check them out if you haven't yet!  And if you're visiting from there - welcome!  Thanks for stopping by, & Enjoy!  Be sure and take a minute to say hi - I loveee to hear from each and every one of you! :)


 
The ladies over at FTLOB must be psychic or something, because I really needed a pick me up after the past couple of days.... and I've been all smiles since I saw my post up there this afternoon :)

I tried my best to keep a happy face on this past weekend while the hubby and I celebrated our first anniversary (don't get me wrong, I was very excited to be celebrating our first year of marriage!!) but I wasn't expecting it to be the only thing we were celebrating.

You see, Saturday would have marked the half-way point of my pregnancy.  I had had it all planned out in my head- we would find out at our mid-pregnancy ultrasound whether our peanut was a boy or a girl, keep it sealed in an envelope, and open it together on our anniversary for the ultimate surpise (although, who knows if I would have actually been able to hold out- knowing me I would have ripped the envelope open on the way home from the doctor). 

Once I realized that wasn't going to be happening and that we would instead, once again, be in the "trying" phase of starting our family-- I realized that this past weekend would be when we would get our potential positive test.

Ohhh, what a wonderful anniversary present it would be!  To off-set the sadness of not being able to celebrate the halfway point of pregnancy, we would instead learn that we were expecting again, right?!  We were 2 for 2 in trying so far, so it would always just be that simple every time, right?!

Yeah, right.  That would be way too good to be true. 

That would mean we'd be able to work things out for me to stay home the rest of the first trimester and head over to Finland only a month later than J's departure date.  That would mean our little one would be born at the end of the regular season, in plenty of time before playoffs and wouldn't delay us getting home after the season at all either. 

That would mean we'd catch a break for once.

But you know what, I'm sick of letting things get the best of me.  I'm sick of getting my hopes up, only to be disappointed.  I'm sick of constantly feeling that I'm being failed all of the time.  And I'm pretty sure my husband, Mr. Positive himself, is getting sick of me having these negative feelings all the time.  It's been driving him crazy that he cannot "fix" it.

Hockey doesn't grant us much control over any aspect of our lives, so I should be used to this aspect of "no control over things".  I think I'm finally ready to let go of it all and just let it happen.  I don't want to look back and realize how much time I've wasted being disappointed and not being happy with what I have right in front of me.  That doesn't mean we have to stop trying to reach our ultimate goal of having a baby (and hopefully still sooner than later!)  But maybe it's time to start appreciating what we do have.  What we can control. 

The rest will take care of itself from there.  Our time will come, but for now.... I'm going to make a better effort to be happy with what I've got.

What do you appreciate most about your life?  Do you ever find yourself so focused on something that you forget to "stop and smell the roses"?





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6.26.2011

1 year ago on this day....









WE GOT MARRIED! :)

I am so lucky to be married to my best friend and such a wonderful man.  We have been through so much in this 1 year alone, good and bad, and I don't know what we'd do without each other to lean on.  He can always make me laugh, and pushes me through the tough situations.  Though it's only been 1 year of marriage, we've been together for 8 years, and each year just keeps getting better than the rest.  Here's to many, many more! ♥  


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6.22.2011

stop saying "I wish", start saying "I will", part 2

[It was brought to my attention yesterday (by my sweet husband) that I had not written a new post in several days.  He said he was "feeling down" and "needed some inspiration" (he's just a bit dramatic...) and there was nothing new for him to read and be inspired by.  Obviously he was yanking my chain a bit, but he was also right- sorry for abandoning my blog for a few days!]

Aside from my bad habits I fell into from time to time when life threw curveballs that I mentioned in my last post, I'm usually (90% of the time) an obsessive healthy eater.  Especially since we've started trying to have a baby.  I educated myself a lot before we began trying.  I knew that certain foods increase or decrease fertility, some can't or shouldn't be eaten during pregnancy, and that the prenatal vitamin is only supplementing the viatmins and minerals you are already getting from your food.  Going off my previous knowledge, I read a lot (and googled a lot) to adjust my diet accordingly, which wasn't too difficult since we were already eating fairly healthy, with the exception of a soda or some ice cream here and there (as in, a once or twice a week treat here and there).  Aside from trying to keep up with my hubby's hot bod, attempting to have a baby is the perfect motivation for me to continue a healthy lifestyle.

Anyways, here are my tips for eating and staying healthy, pregnant or not.  Hopefully you can take something from them to help you with your healthy living goals as well:

-Adjust calorie intake according to your body and the activities you do.  I don't understand why they generalize everyones diet into a 2,000 calorie diet when body sizes, metabolism, daily activities and other factors make such a huge difference in how many calories you should take in for a day.  Here's a good way to calculate how many calories you should be eating, offered by Shape magazine (and remember, being pregnant doesn't mean eating for TWO! You only need about 300 extra calories per day):

If you are age 30 or under, multiply your weight by 6.7 and add 487; women who are 31-60  should multiply their weight by 4 and add 829. Then, multiply the total by 1.3 if you're sedentary (don't work out at all), 1.5 if you're slightly active (work out three to four times a week for one hour), 1.6 if you're moderately active (work out four to five times a week for one hour) or 1.9 if you're very active (work out almost every day for one hour). 

-Cut out foods that don't have much or anything to offer.  Like white bread and soda.  You want to make every calorie count, so don't fill up your daily allowance with foods that aren't nutrient rich.  They'll leave you less satisfied and more hungry, also... so you'll end up eating twice as much.

-Diet/Light/Low Fat, etc. isn't always better!  Almost all of the time when fat and calories are taken out of foods to make them 'diet' or 'light' or 'sugar free', something else is being put into foods to replace them.  Often times this comes in the form of more sodium or sugar, both of which can be very detrumental to your health if you're getting too much.  And that Diet soda that is so appealing with it's 0 calories and 0 sugar?  Guess what, it's still soda.  The artificial sweeteners and caffiene aren't good for anyone for many reasons, especially pregnant women.

-Some fat is necessary in your diet.  Some fats help absorb vitamins and minerals, and others, like Omega-3's, have a wide array of benefits- like heart health, cell growth/repair & improved brain function (to name a few)

-Eat fresh foods in their most natural state.  They say shop the outsides of the grocery store and stay clear of the middle.  That's because most of the middle aisles are filled with processed foods.  When foods are processed, many times minerals and nutrients are lost... along with A LOT of other things being added in.  Stick to fresh fruits and veggies (buy organic when possible, especially 'thin-skinned' fruits and veggies that absorb more pesticides) and meat and poultry that has been raised all natural, without antibiotics and growth hormones.  This is a big one for us.... not only is it inhumane and sickening how almost all of the chicken, beef, etc. is raised and produced in our country (read Food Inc if you don't believe me)... but if you have tasted the 'good stuff' that has been raised properly and naturally, you'll know why it's worth a few extra bucks.  You'll never go back to eating the 'other stuff' again!

-Eat at home.  We eat out maybe 2 times a month, tops.  Seriously.  Obviously it's much easier and quicker to go out to eat or order a pizza, but we are both extremely turned off by the amount of calories, fat, sodium, carbs, etc. etc. found in foods prepared in restaurants.  The supposed "healthy" foods on the menu are still always cooked using unhealthy oils and Lord knows what else.  If we're the ones making the food (usually from scratch), we know exactly what is going into our bodies and how it is being cooked.

-Take a daily multivitamin.  In case you fall short in a certain vitamin or mineral category for the day, a multivitamin will help ensure that you are still getting sufficient amounts necessary each day.

-Exercise!!  Take the dog for a walk.  Ride your bike to do an errand.  Take a detour to the gym after work.  Anything that gets you up and off the couch, really.  Eating healthy only takes you so far, you must combine it with exercise in order to keep your body in it's best, healthiest working order.  Plus, you'll have more energy and be a happier person, too!

-Moderation.  Don't give up your favorite treats entirely.  Allow yourself to have a cupcake or a can of Pepsi now and then.  It will keep your cravings in check, and prevent you from going on an all-day binge at some point.  Plus, life is supposed to be fun... isn't it?!  What fun is it if we can't indulge in a special treat now and then?!  Just remember, moderation is the key.  Allow yourself 1-3 "treats" per week :)


I hope my tips will inspire you to adjust your lifestyle accordingly as well.  There are many little changes that can make a big difference, and once you get into the routine, it's fairly easy to stick to.  My problem was that when I lost control of things in my life (like losing my babies), I let myself lose control of everything else as well.  Not to mention there were lots of restrictions on exercise and activity that kept me from doing a lot of things I normally do.  It's okay to go through these rough patches, just make sure you set a time frame for yourself and get back with the program sooner rather than later.  Your body will thank you! :)


Do you have a healthy living tip you'd like to share?  What helps motivate you to say "I WILL" instead of "I WISH"?


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6.16.2011

stop saying "I wish", start saying "I will"

Our income is earned solely from the use of my husband's body.  If something happens to it, that's the end.

No more paycheck.

Not only does it have to be in working order on a daily basis, but it has to be in peak physical condition year-round. 

Being a professional athlete requires one to dedicate his/her body to the sport.  Day after day of skating, lifting weights, doing conditioning exercises, etc. adds up quickly. 

When my husband goes to work each day, he burns nearly 2,000 calories.

As you can imagine, as a wife of a professional athlete, you already have to work very hard to not get lost in the shadow of your spouse.  Aside from all that, you want to keep up with him in the physical category, too.  Or at least I do.... I am very competitive, and I could never sit around and do nothing while my hubby flashes around his hot bod. 

Last summer, I was at my peak physical condtion.  Toned arms, toned legs, toned stomach, very heart-healthy.  I felt great, and I looked great. 

However, attempting to have a baby, being pregnant, (then not pregnant), then pregnant again, (then not pregnant again), then attempting to concieve a third time, weighs heavily on your body.  Your body doesn't work properly if you're over-active, and obviously losing prenancies and having surgery is very limiting.  Not to mention the fact that I have [more than once] fallen into the trap of 'eating my feelings' when I've been sad.

It's extremely frustrating- I really enjoy working out, and I'm normally a very healthy eater.  When uncontrollable circumstances affect these activities (well, okay... I'm guilty of the unhealthy eating from time to time...)  you can't help but feel a little lost from normal routine.  It was like groundhog day:  I was exercising less and eating extremely healthy while trying to concieve/being pregnant, then falling into the unhealthy eating habit after learning the pregnancy failed.... then trying to concieve/succeeding again and jumping back on the healthy bandwagon, then failing again and falling into the unhealthy tailspin again. 

Then, I realized: all I need to do is re-evaluate and modify.  If I have it written out, it will be much easier to follow, and I'll be less-likely to fall into the bad habits again.

My goals are:
  • to maintain a weight that is both healthy for me and keeps me in the best possible condtion for concieving.  If I need to be 5 pounds heavier off the bat to provide a good cushion for my little one to arrive and stay safe, so be it.  A small sacrifice to pay.
  • to re-tone my arms.  I know the muscle is under there, it's just not wanting to show it's face as much as it used to.  I quit most weight-bearing exercise at the start of my 2nd pregnancy in fear of it harming the baby (though knowing it wouldn't), and also after my surgery.  Time for the guns to come back out again.
  • legs and abs are another story.  They concern me more since they are closer to my baby-making parts.  I'm okay with them being a little less-toned for now.
  • Make sure that every single food/drink I put in my body every day is providing me some sort of nutritional benefit.
And I'm getting there by:
  • Walking the dog, walking on the treadmill, going for bike rides outside with J, swimming outside in the pool.
  • Low weight/high reps with hand weights and resistance bands (same as I did last summer/fall)
  • Ab exercises that avoid crunching motions, like plank variations.
  • Eating a well-balanced, healthy diet, and avoiding the temptations of all the lovely junk food here in the U.S.... which is simple, once I put my sadness aside.  As long as I don't let myself eat my feelings, it's pretty easy to do.  We've gotten back in the habit of making balanced, healthy meals from scratch now that I'm willing to spend more time on it again (recipes to come soon! :) ).
  • Accepting the fact that my child-bearing/attempting body is just not going to look the same as it did on my wedding day.  Not until post-baby, at least... :)

What do you do to keep your health on track?  Have any of you recently had to modify eating/exercise habits for any reason?  I'd love to hear what works for YOU!

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6.13.2011

not giving up :)

Thank you to those of you who sent kind and encouraging words my way over the past few days.  Things got better in time for the weekend- thanks to keeping so busy!  J's brother was in town, along with his fiancee and her family.  I mentioned before about how I was throwing her a bridal shower- which, by the way- was a huge success!   And the guys played some golf and went to a baseball game for some 'bachelor party' activities.  It was so wonderful to be able to see them all again... it really stinks being so far away all the time and only being able to see one another once or twice a year :(   Now it's the final countdown to their wedding in a few weeks, and I couldn't be more excited for them!

The hubs also does an amazing job of encouraging me to keep my head up.  He has definitely has had his times of sadness and grief, but he is a go-getter kind of guy and is not one to accept failure.  He will keep getting back on the horse and persist until he has succeeded.  His attitude and influence has helped me see the light through the pain of it all.  I hate to say that anything good has come from our situation, because it hasn't, but I have realized through this experience just how truly strong I am, and also how strong we are as a couple.

Here's to hoping good things are to come our way in the near future!




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6.09.2011

i can't imagine heaven's lullabies, and what they must sound like...

Sorry to go sad on you all... but I'm really missing our babies tonight.  I thought I've been doing pretty well, but then there's those times that it just hits you all over again.  Like the fact that....

  • baby #1 would be 22 weeks right now [the size of a papaya, 11 inches long!] or baby #2 would be almost 18 weeks [the size of a sweet potato, 5.5 inches long!]
  • we'd know the sex of either baby #1 or baby #2 by now (or very, very soon) and I'd be going nuts buying all kinds of cute little outfits and things for him/her- not to mention he/she would surely have their first pair of hockey skates by now.
  • and therefore we'd have a name picked out for our sweet little one as well!
  • I'd be feeling either of our little peanuts moving by now, and he/she would be able to hear our voices speaking to him/her and telling him/her how much we love them and can't wait to meet them
  • We'd only have to wait a few short months to meet our little one, see what he/she looks like, and start learning what kind of little person he/she is. 

But instead, I've got nothing.  Two angel babies looking down on us from heaven.  I guess that's better than none, but I would give anything for our sweet little one(s) to be with me in my belly right now.  It doesn't help that I still get e-mails and phone notifications telling me "Congratuations! You're 17 weeks pregnant today!" or remembering all of the plans that we had made thinking there was a little one on the way, or when somebody [innocently] asks when we're "going to have babies already?!". 

What upsets infuriates me even more is to see others take their pregnancy or child for granted.  Like the lady at our pool who is 20-some weeks pregnant and smokes 5+ cigarettes in the 2.5 hours she's at the pool while munching on a wide variety of junk foods.  Or that freaking Casey Anthony trial (she's soooo guilty).  How could someone kill their sweet, innocent child like that?  

Please give your child (or beautiful baby belly) an extra hug and kiss tonight and make sure to tell them how much you love them.  Don't forget to take time to step back and realize how blessed you truly are! 

As for those of you in situations similar to us, I hope that you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone... and that surely, there are better days to come




"Glory Baby" by Watermark
[as posted on My Baby Still]
Glory baby, you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…


And we miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do


Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…


I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…


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wedding pictures!

Our first anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks [June 26], and we got a call from our photographer last week to come in and pick up our CD of the negatives.  Like many other wedding photographers, he releases the copywright to us for our 1st anniversary, so we were excited to hear that we were able to get them a few weeks early.  We also figured we'd better go in and order some prints-- it has been a year, after all!  Good thing we can use being in Finland as the excuse for that one.

Anyway, here are some of the pictures captured by our photographer [Pierre] on our big day:


adoreable pic of J with our
nephew/ring bearer
what a handsome looking bunch!

still so in love with my dress!
they were so excited to get their flowers!

another creative shot in the basement of the church
our adoreable nieces/flower girls

exiting the church into a sea-full of bubbles :)
meeting J at the altar

getting some lovin' from my new hubby
while surrounded by all of our loved ones
doesn't get much better than this!
my beautiful best friends/
bridesmaids

the 'jumping' pictures are one of Pierre's specialties

we finally got some air by take #4... :)

a beautiful day for pictures by the lake
the bike Pierre 'borrowed'
from the liquor store
random moments = lovely pictures

me and my fellow hockey-playing bridesmaids

can't beat this one

J and his groomsmen

beer truck picture... another result of
Pierre's spontaneous creativity!

most delicious raspberry cake ever!


our cute little centerpieces turned into this....

should have known this would happen with a
bunch of hockey players! haha

dancing with my sweet nieces/flower girls

personalized hockey puck favors
[J's ring & my engagement ring]

first dance
 Looking back through all of our pictures has made me fall in love with them all over again.  Our photographer, Pierre, and his assistant Sarah, did an amazingly wonderful job that exceeded all of our expectations.  I'd highly recommend his work to anyone looking for a highly talented photographer... check out his website or facebook page no need to be in the area, I do believe he is willing to travel :)


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6.08.2011

lavender sugar scrub

As I mentioned before, I'm throwing a bridal shower this weekend for my sister-in-law-to-be.  Being the DIY-er that I am, I just had to make homemade favors to send home with all of the guests!  It came to me as I was singing along to Carrie Underwood and exfoliating in the shower one day.... I would make homemade lavender sugar scrub and cutesy it up in little jars!  Ohhhh, I was so excited.  Here is what I came up with:

Lavender Sugar Scrub


1 cup white cane sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
4 drops lavender essential oil
1 Tbsp vitamin E oil
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Mix ingredients together in a bowl.  Pour into a glass container of your choice, decorate as desired.

I used 4 oz jam jars that I bought at a home/garden/farm supply store, but you can use any container you'd like!  I got about 3- 4oz. jars out of this recipe.

Happy DIY-ing! :)


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6.07.2011

what girl doesn't love jewelry?!

Whoa, it's been a crazy one in our household lately!  I feel like we've hardly had time to sit down in the last week or so.  It's kind of a nice change of pace though... come those dark, cold, boring January days in Finland while the hubby's at an away game, I'll be dreaming of these busy days with so much to do!

I'm pretty excited tonight because I just got home from a jewelry making class.  I started making jewelry a month or so ago after my 2nd miscarriage and surgery that followed.  I really needed/wanted a hobby that was all my own and thought that making a few fun pieces would be fun. 

So, I loaded up on supplies at Michael's and other craft/bead stores and began to wing it.  I've really impressed myself with how well I've done so far, and more importantly, I've been having fun doing it.  It's been very theraputic for me and has definitely taken my mind off of the events of recent months and given me back some of the drive and motivation that I lost during that time. 

Since I've enjoyed it so much, I decided to sign up and do a class or two at a local bead/jewelry store.  It was a Wire class, which is what I've really wanted to get better at.  She showed us lots of tips and tricks and we made a pair of earrings to take home: 



Not exactly the beads I would have picked out myself if I had the choice(especially since they're like different colors!) but I'm pretty proud of myself.  I've considered starting a little business out of it (with J being my investor, of course :) )  so we'll have to see what happens.  I even joked about renting a place at the Christmas Market in Helsinki this year... haha!  The 2nd part probably won't be happening.... but stay tuned, I may just have some nice jewelry pieces for sale soon! :)

Here are some of my first pieces:








I'm busy planning my sister-in-law-to-be's Bridal Shower for this weekend (along with a million other things goin on), but check back soon- I'll be writing a post about the shower favors that I made! (no, they're not jewelry :) )


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