that's it.

...I'm going to the spa.  I need some severe de-stressing and relaxation.  I've been in a terrible funk for over a week now and can't seem to shake it. 

I was hesitant to make any sort of blog posts about my little self-pity party, in fear that friends, family, and anyone else reading would think that I had gone off the deep end and put me in a psych ward.  But if it's any consolation, over the past couple weeks, I have found that I'm not alone.  Fellow hockey wife bloggers KY , Hockey Wife and Life of a Hockey Widow have recently blogged about similar feelings.  KY has dubbed it "hockey season-al depression", and it is just that. 

It's January.  It's cold.  It's dark.  The new-ness of the hockey season and excitement of being in a new place is totally gone.  It's the second half of the season, yet the off-season seems so far away.   The holidays have come and gone.  It's been almost 5 months since I've seen friends or family back home.  The day-to-day struggles of living in a foreign country, though a little easier now, are still very present and real.  (this is where I could go on and on forever... but I'll spare us both)

I think know J has come scar-ily close to booking me on the next flight home the past few days.  I haven't been able to shake things, even with all of his love and support.  I've realized this is something that no one is going to be able to fix but me. 

As a friend (and fellow hockey wife in Europe)'s facebook status said today: 

"We may not be able to control events, but we can control our attitude toward them."

It is so right.  I need an attitude adjustment. 

So today I called J while he was on the bus to an away game.  Short and sweet, "I'm going to the spa.  I need a massage.  I love you, I'm sorry.  Bye"

Time to shift the negativity into positivity.  What better way to start than with a trip to the spa, follwed by a girls night while the guys are gone?  Ahhhhh, I can feel the stress shedding from my body already....